On the other hand, going on the offensive often escalates the conflict or puts us in the position of trying to change another person. So she probably just tried to tell them not to feel how they were feeling.
Self-injury is probably the result of many different factors. One day I was feeling very discouraged and depressed because a project I had started to help orphans in Bulgaria had been cancelled.
Among them: Lack of role models and invalidation - most people who self-injure were chronically invalidated in some way as children (many self-injurers report abuse, but almost all report chronic invalidation). When I told one of the volunteers, a mother who had been helping me there, she said, "Maybe it's not so bad..."I remembered later that she had also said this about my visa situation, "Maybe it's not so complicated." I felt so hurt by her lack of understanding that I had to bite my tongue not to say "Did you hear one word I said?!
I grew up with a single mom who read and shared self-help books.
We have been conditioned to think that invalidation is "normal." Indeed, it is extremely common, but it is certainly not healthy. His wife was there to meet us so she could drive us back up to the top of the hill. As the four of us were standing there a woman named Sue came up with a big smile on her face. One day I expect there will be research which proves that children who did not feel understood by their parents, teachers, parents' friends, etc. It is not a right, it is not something nice to have. When our needs go unmet one incident at a time, for years and years, we and society all suffer. I wondered if her boss told her that if she left, she couldn't come back. As I waited, small signals from her caused me to feel even more discouraged.
I have also heard them say things like: "He cries at the drop of a hat." One teacher said "When she starts to cry, I just ignore her and eventually she stops." Another said, "When one kid's crying is disrupting the lesson, I tell them to go cry in the hall till they can pull themselves back together again."When I am worried about something and I tell someone who is involved in the situation and they say "Don't worry," I actually feel more worried. She gave a warm hello to the couple, then asked the boy, "How's school, mate? What's worse is that when he gave them a golden opportunity to understand him and his world, he was completely invalidated, then completely ignored. She seemed as athletic as the father, which makes sense of course. Again I feel guilty because I did not say anything. I say this one incident says a lot about their parenting style and about how children are psychologically invalidated every day. are among the most self-destructive or socially destructive adults. Last night I went to visit someone while she was at work. Then she seemed to notice my mood and asked me what I was thinking.
Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder", or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals" are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions. I didnt think I was telling them what they were feeling was wrong, I thought I was passing on what I had learned.